The Goal is NOT to 'Make it all go Away!

“I just want it all to go away. The constant worry. The constant need to be perfect. These thoughts I have about what I do, never being enough. This feeling of numbness, all the time… etc. Will you help it all go away?” 

A desperate plea for release that I hear from a vast majority of people who come to see me. 

I remember when I too began looking deeper into the driving forces behind my habits, thoughts, and exploring the parts of myself that instigated my suffering. I literally thought to myself, “why can’t I just forget all of it and start over. Why am I subjected to this type of torment? I try to love myself, but I find myself finding reasons to shame myself. I am doing my best to be happy, but all I feel is neutrality and constantly subdued. I desire to feel peace, but I’m enraged with worry all the time.”  

The sad part is, I couldn’t remember a time in my life without these thoughts or these feelings. I could only consciously recall times in my life when some of my addictive tendencies began and emerged fiercely as a result of these thoughts and feelings being actively perpetuated. That is where my journey of self-exploration began. It was important to me to learn more about why I thought, felt, and believed what I did. I knew that it all would have to be discovered, reframed, and released in order for healing to begin and for me to experience a different reality.

Over the years, I realized something extremely important that I would like to share with the wise part of your inner reality. That is, the part of you that can rationalize the balance of life without all of the conditioned rules you’ve learned and adopted about yourself along the way.

When you begin any type of therapy (support, unlearning, relearning, releasing, however the term feels comfortable for you to relate to) the quest becomes not ‘making it all go away’ but rather reframing the limiting loops of the past that keep you stuck in the present and learning how to move through the discomfort without being consumed in it as frequently as possible, until it becomes a reflex.

The goal is NOT to 'make it all go away.’

The goal is to discover, reframe, and release the limiting beliefs that you hold about yourself so that you can begin living how you want to live, now.

I speak often about belief and the subjectivity of them to every single human being: You do not hold the same meaning/belief as anyone else because none of us have experienced the exact same experiences as one another.

For example, a client came in to see me about a belief they held of not being enough.

This is a surface ‘limiting belief’ that many people have. I say surface, because society does a wonderful job of trying to put labels on what we ‘must’ be troubled by. The reality is, if you continue to work on the surface, you will continue to get surface results. Perhaps the reason why some affirmations you’ve found on the internet that you’ve spent hours rehearsing, might not have generated a more positive result for you. The meaning behind your beliefs is deeper and completely subjective to you! Discovering your own beliefs will pose for a better reframe, affirmation, and furthermore, reality. 

Back to the client example: When we posed this belief of not being enough to their subconscious mind during hypnosis to find the root cause of their issue, what they came to believe about themselves was far more complex than their initial presumption of belief: Not being enough.  

Rather an experience the client had caused them to learn that “in order for me to be loved, I have to be first in everything I do.” What they came to understand was that this belief made them feel unworthy, undervalued, worthless, and not enough. This client learned at the age of three that in order to feel enough and that they were worthy to be loved, they must be in first, at the top, and winning. 

Once the client learned about their old and outdated belief, they were able to cross-analyze what is possible and available for them now, that wasn’t back then. This client learned (by continual exposure) and adopted this belief about themselves that was necessary (at that age of three) in order to have their needs met, continued to remain in motion throughout their life. But, they can rationalize now (40 years later), that they are loved even if they are not finishing first in everything. Their child still comes running up to them when they get home on days that they may not have ‘finished first.’ They are still enough for love.

What they are able to rationalize now, that they couldn’t at the age of three, also helps them cope better. Instead of spending hours perfecting the weekly review to be submitted to their boss at the end of each week, the client was happy to review it twice and submit it with less anxiety and go home to enjoy a huge hug, posing as a new continual reminder that they are always loved and enough.

You see, the goal is not to ‘make it all go away.’ The goal is to discover, reframe, and release the limiting beliefs that you hold about yourself so that you can begin living how you want to live, now. Soon you begin to realize that you are far more powerful and resilient than you think now and can cope more easily when you discover that you can!

Only you hold the answers to the questions you’re asking. Only you are able to uncover the meaning behind your limitations.

And I would love to guide you through that deeper discovery only when you’ve decided that it’s time to let go of what’s keeping you stuck. Let’s get started.

💜  Stephanie