Is There an Imposter Within?

Maybe you've heard of Imposter Syndrome? 

Or, perhaps the title of this blog sparked your interest and now you're intrigued to learn more about an 'imposter' feeling within you that you may have had or may be experiencing now?

Grab your coffee and let’s dive in!

Welcome to Couch Talk.

Here is what we will break down today in regard to Imposter Syndrome:

• What is it?
• My scope on it based on subjective belief.
• And what specific personality traits would appear to correlate more commonly with a person suffering from Imposter Syndrome.

Imposter syndrome loosely refers to an internal belief within a person that they are not as competent and intelligent as another. Professionals refer to it as a pattern in which someone doubts themselves and their abilities due to feelings of insufficiency and/or deficiency. Imposter Syndrome might look, feel, and sound like...

While this psychological pattern has been traced to high achievers who find it difficult to accept their successes, I have found it to be actually much vaster than that in client cases.

For an example, a mother came to me following the birth her child feeling shameful about having her child and being a mom. She sat down, broke into tears and began to share with me that she felt that having her child was ‘lucky’ and further expressed “feeling like a fraud as a mother.” She didn’t know why she was feeling the way she was because there was a part of her that also felt she was a great Mom.

Later in hypnosis, we were able to determine the part of her that was called ‘imposter’ was actually in imprint shared in/by/with the woman’s mother.

The woman went on to discover during her session that she adopted this perspective from her mother at a very young age. She regressed back to a memory of her mother telling her, she felt faulty being a mom and that “you give everything away being a mom, including yourself!” The woman went on to say that her mother spoke of this often and that the woman didn’t realize how much of an impact that actually had on her today. 

In the woman’s earlier years, the imprint further imbedded a certain understanding about what motherhood might look, feel, and sound like for the woman. As a result, the woman noted what she began to believe about herself at that time: "when I become a mom, it would be by fault. I would be faulty. That I would lose myself entirely.”

A belief was accepted which then initiated feelings of overwhelm inadequacy, unworthiness, comparison, and doubt as soon as her baby was born. She immediately began to question her abilities as a mother.

Why do I mention this case?

Unlike what has been discovered about Imposter Syndrome regarding mainly high-achievers, we see here that an imprint initiated and embedded a belief and eventually created a behavior that also identified with an ‘imposter like’ frame of mind.

I want to share something extremely important with you, which I think sometimes often we forget… it is that every single human belief about themselves and how they fit into the world, are subjective to the individual’s history.

What does this mean?

Taking the woman’s understanding of what being an ‘imposter’ is or was for example, it was completely subjective (original) to her history, her life experiences, and people that guided her up-brining. 

You see, the meaning of what an imposter is and how it affects a person is all very subjective the the person. You!

In the woman’s case, there had been an inner conflict between the imprint (belief) she accepted at a young age from her mother and the part of her that knows she is a loving, nurturing, and outstanding mother!

Feeling like a fraud, a fake, or an imposter originates as uniquely as every single person on this earth and has all to do with the persons history- what a person has learned (now believes) to be true about oneself and true about others. Our experiences are not one in-the-same. So, what you learned then (now believe) about yourself IS completely different from that of another.

What we do know is that Imposter Syndrome is linked to a person being unable to express their feelings out of fear of disappointment, failure, etc. The longer this continues the stronger the desire becomes to hide, avoid, or over-perform. What we are seeing is an increase in anxiety and depression, which causes more than a chronic overactive nervous system… it creates a complete dissociation from one’s truest desires of one’s heart = living a happy and fulfilling life, purposefully.

Imposter Syndrome shows up in many ways and originates from completely unique circumstance based on a person’s history and beliefs that were accepted. However, here some personality traits that would appear to correlate more commonly with a person suffering from Imposter Syndrome:

The Perfectionist: A person who is not satisfied with what they have done and what they are doing. They always feel that their work and effort could be better and instead of focusing on strengths, they are quick to loathe in even the smallest of mistakes.

The Expert: A person who has a wealth of knowledge and always wants to learn more and more but are not satisfied with their skills and achievements. They are constantly undermining their skill and knowledge and will only accept a new task or role solely if they are SURE that they have all of the skills necessary to carryout that task or role.

The Brilliant One: A person who is naturally competent. When carrying out a task that they did not accomplish right away, they experience extreme frustration and feelings of having fallen short.

The Soloist: A person who prefers to do work alone and will avoid asking others for help because they feel it is seen as a weakness to others.

The Superhuman: A person who is always hard at work and always pushes themselves as hard as they can. They need deadlines from others to accomplish a task. They need to succeed in all areas of their life.

I want to encourage you… You are not alone if you’re finding yourself continually imposing on your relationships, your work, your success, etc. I have been there.

Please know that you are in complete control of understanding your attachments to this challenge. Once you understand why this imposter part has taken its role in your life, you can absolutely free yourself from it!

I am HERE for you, only when you are READY to let it go.

“It’s okay to have imposter moments, but not to have an imposter life!” Valerie Young.

With love,

Stephanie

Sayge