Why You Keep Sabotaging Yourself Right Before Things Get Good

Let’s talk about beliefs.

Not in the fluffy “just change your mindset” way,

But in the real way- the way that explains why you keep repeating patterns that make you question who the hell you are and why you’re not further along by now.

Everyone talks about limiting beliefs like they’re basic:

“I’m not good enough.” 

“I’m not worthy.” 

“I don’t deserve this.” 

And sure, those phrases get tossed around a lot.

But your beliefs?

They’re a hell of a lot more subjective than that.

They are personal.

They are specific.

They are rooted in your story, your experiences, your nervous system.

And if you don’t understand where they came from,

You’re going to keep trying to fix the wrong problem.

Your Beliefs Are Born in the Moment You Needed a Way to Make Sense of Pain

Let me be clear:

You didn’t wake up one day and decide,

“Hey, I think I’ll believe I’m not good enough.”

No.

Something happened.

You felt rejection.

You felt abandoned.

You felt like you failed at something that mattered.

You felt unseen, unheard, unvalued.

And because your brain is designed to survive, not thrive,

It created a belief to make sense of the pain.

 It said:

“If I’m not good enough, then that’s why they left.” 

“If I’m undeserving, then it makes sense why I was overlooked.” 

“If I’m not worthy, then of course they didn’t choose me.” 

Your brain creates stories to protect you from chaos.

And it reinforces those stories until they feel like fact.

But they’re not fact.

They’re just strategies your brain used to explain why things hurt.

Beliefs Are Subjective Because They’re Based on YOUR Version of the Story

Two people can go through the same experience.

One walks away thinking, “I wasn’t good enough.” 

The other walks away thinking, “They couldn’t handle me.” 

Same situation.

Two different beliefs.

Why?

Because your belief isn’t based on what actually happened.

It’s based on what you made it mean.

And that meaning gets colored by your emotions,

Your past experiences,

Your nervous system’s capacity to handle discomfort,

And whether or not you had the tools to process it when it happened.

So if you’ve ever wondered why you have a belief that doesn’t make sense to you now—

That’s why.

At the time, it was the only story that helped you make sense of what you were feeling.

And your brain latched onto it.

Because certainty- even when it’s painful- feels safer than not knowing.

This Is Why You Can’t Just Positive-Affirmation Your Way Out of It

 If you’ve been trying to “reprogram” your beliefs just by thinking better thoughts,

You’ve probably already figured out that doesn’t stick.

Because this isn’t a logic problem.

It’s a safety problem.

Your nervous system doesn’t care about your positive affirmations.

It cares about whether or not it feels safe.

And if the belief you’re trying to change is attached to a moment in your life where you didn’t feel safe,

You have to work with the body,

Not just the mind.

You have to create safety first.

Then the story can shift.

Then the belief becomes flexible.

And then your actions can finally change.

 Your Beliefs Aren’t About Truth—They’re About Familiarity

The limiting belief you’re holding onto isn’t true.

But it feels familiar.

And that’s why you’ve repeated it for so long.

Because your brain values predictability over possibility.

Even when that predictability is keeping you stuck,

It feels like home.

So of course you keep coming back to it.

But here’s the good news:

Once you recognize a belief as subjective,

You can start to challenge it.

You can create new experiences that tell a different story.

One where you’re safe to be seen.

Safe to succeed.

Safe to fail and still belong.

Safe to expand.

Safe to win.

You’ve got places to go,

And this belief?

It’s not your home anymore.

If this resonates with you, you'll want to take a look around Sayge. You just might find the resources that you've been searching for [HERE].

♥️ Stephanie