Uncovering the Driver Behind Self-Sabotage: A Client’s Success Story

How are you feeling today?

Maybe you’re doing great, crushing your goals, and feeling unstoppable. But maybe… just maybe, you’re feeling stuck 🤷‍♀️. Frustrated 🤷‍♀️. Like you’re trying to move forward, but something keeps pulling you back.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

What if I told you that the part of you holding back isn’t working against you, but is actually trying to protect you? Self-sabotage isn’t a flaw—it’s a survival pattern you’ve picked up somewhere along the way, one that was once necessary, but no longer serves you today.

Let me share a client success story that beautifully illustrates this.

Meet Sarah 👋  (Name Changed for Privacy):

Sarah came to me struggling with her business. She had big dreams of growing her company, reaching new clients, and expanding her online presence. But every time she sat down to tackle key business tasks—like posting on social media, planning marketing events, or preparing for client meetings—something stopped her. The fear of being “out there,” exposed to new opportunities, was overwhelming, and instead of pushing through, she found herself avoiding those tasks altogether.

Cue the sabotage.

As we dove deeper into Sarah’s journey, we uncovered the root of her sabotage. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to succeed—she absolutely did. But the thought of being seen brought up old fears. Sarah shared that as a teenager, she used to hide from the popular kids at school who constantly picked on her for being “nerdy.” She loved her Pokémon backpacks and enjoyed trading Disney pins, but those very things made her a target. To protect herself from the teasing and humiliation, she learned to stay hidden, to shrink into the background. 

Fast forward to her adult life, and anytime Sarah thought about putting herself out there, especially in the business world, that same fear kicked in. Her old coping pattern—hiding to stay safe—resurfaced. In her mind, being “seen” as a business owner carried the same risks as being “seen” as a teenager: judgment, rejection, and humiliation. Her subconscious was simply trying to protect her from feeling that pain again. 

The Breakthrough

As we worked through this, Sarah realized that her sabotage wasn’t a sign that she didn’t want to succeed—it was an old safety mechanism, designed to keep her from getting hurt. Once she recognized that, everything changed. She could finally feel compassion for that part of herself, acknowledging that it was simply trying to protect her from a situation that no longer existed.

With this new understanding, Sarah started to take small, bold steps forward. She reframed her belief that visibility equals danger and began to see it as an opportunity. Little by little, she began posting on social media, scheduling marketing events, and meeting with potential clients without that paralyzing fear. 🤩

When Sarah realized that her past wounds no longer had the power to define her present, she felt a sense of wholeness she hadn’t experienced before. Her breakthrough wasn’t just about business success—it was about healing an old part of herself and stepping into a new, empowered version of who she truly is.

So, maybe like Sarah, you too have noticed that invisible grip holding you back?

If Sarah’s story resonates with you, I want you to know that self-sabotage doesn’t make you weak or incapable. It simply means that an old part of you, one that once served you well, is still running the show. But here’s the thing: as you grow, so do your needs. What once protected you may now be the very thing that holds you back. 

The next time you notice yourself avoiding a task, take a moment to ask: What am I really afraid of here? Often, it’s not the task itself—it’s the fear of what it might expose, the vulnerability of being “seen” or “judged.” And once you understand where that fear comes from, you can start to dissolve its power.

How to Move Forward 🤓

The good news is, just like Sarah, you can rewrite this story. Self-sabotage is simply a call to look within and address an old wound that’s ready to be healed. The more you recognize these patterns for what they truly are—a safety response from the past—the more compassion you’ll feel for yourself. And from that place of compassion, you can start making decisions that align with who you want to become, not who you used to be.

If you’re struggling with self-sabotage, remember that it’s not about forcing yourself to push through. It’s about taking the time to understand where that behavior comes from, and lovingly guiding yourself toward a new way of thinking and being. The path forward is one of self-compassion, not self-criticism.

I want to invite you into my FREE Masterclass- Unmask Self-Sabotage where I will explain more about what self-sabotage actually is and give you a tool to start unraveling your inner conflict. Click HERE to join!

And, just in case you missed it, this FREEBIE: Guide to Breaking the Cycle of Self-Sabotage is essential for the newbie navigating self-sabotage! Click HERE to download it (you'll see it at the bottom of the page)

Let’s grow together.