Simple Steps You Need To Know If You Want To Overcome Self-Sabotage

Self-sabotage is often used to describe the behavior carried out on the surface such as procrastination, rebelling to structure, or escaping, detaching, numbing, etc. What it REALLY IS, is the sabotage that is happening within the Self. Hence, SELF-sabotage. It's the polarization between two conflicting desires within. You'll notice this inner conflict in your internal thoughts, conveyed feelings, or behaviors. They are polarizing or 'conflicting' with one another. 

One part of you wants a desired goal, while another part of you continues to sabotage it. The sabotaging part is a pattern initiating within when your brain and body perceive it's needed. But now that it might no longer be needed (disrupting your goals), you're likely finding yourself frustrated with this automation. But, it was once reverted to 'a lot' and counted on in a supportive way and even if this pattern/part has become unsupportive (in a sense) now. Think 'past pattern' that was once needed and is now no longer needed — The inner saboteur is a part of you, a pattern within, that is trying to protect you from something. This exercise will help you get clear on why a part of you is standing in the way of your goals and how to resolve that inner conflict.

Step 1: Identify the Sabotaging Behavior

Take a moment to write down one specific area in your life where you’re sabotaging yourself. It could be procrastinating on a project, avoiding an opportunity, or holding yourself back from something you really want. 

Step 2: Dialogue with Your Inner Saboteur 

Now, imagine this part of you—the part that’s causing the sabotage whether it's procrastination, avoidance, distraction, escaping, etc. Picture it as a separate part of yourself. Ask this part:

• “What are you trying to protect me from?”
• “What fear or belief do you have about this situation?”
• “What would happen if I succeeded?”

Write down whatever thoughts or feelings come up. This part of you likely has a reason, even if it’s outdated or no longer helpful.

Step 3: Acknowledge and Thank This Part

Often, self-sabotaging behaviors began as a form of protection. Acknowledge that this part of you once served a purpose and thank it for trying to keep you safe. Say (or write), “I understand you’ve been trying to protect me, and I appreciate that.”

Step 4: Reframe the Purpose

Now that you’ve acknowledged the fear or belief behind the sabotage, reframe it. Ask yourself:

• “What would be a healthier way to protect myself or feel safe?”
• “What would it look like if I trusted myself to handle this?”
• “How can I show myself that I’m ready for this step?” 

Step 5: Commit to a New Action 

With this clarity, commit to one small action you can take that aligns with your true goal, rather than your fear. It could be as simple as sending an email, starting a task, or taking a few minutes to brainstorm ideas. This action helps to rewrite the old pattern and build self-trust.

Why It Works: 

By understanding that your inner saboteur is a protective mechanism rather than an enemy, you create space for compassion and clarity. This allows you to resolve the inner conflict and take actions that align with your true desires, rather than being held back by fear or outdated beliefs. 

The resolution of this pattern/part is going to take your consistent effort to not only 'remind' yourself (this part/pattern) that you are safe to move forward in the moment it wants to take over, but that you take ACTION to show this pattern/part that the job that it carried out for your before (avoiding, stalling, escaping, detaching, etc.) is no longer relevant or necessary and that you are even more REWARDED when you take action to move the progress needle forward in your life! This is important to remember. 

Give it a try and see how it helps you gain clarity and move past the block that’s been holding you back!

IF YOU MISSED THIS- I talk more about what self-sabotage is and give you more direction like this to end self-sabotage in my FREE Masterclass: Unmask Self-Sabotage- Click ➡️ HERE to gain access now: