Confidence. What the heck is it?

Some people say it's a skillset you build. I've never agreed on this fully. I get it! But if it's a skillset, why do other people say it's a feeling. "I do/don't feel confident."

Here's my take on it.

After aiding countless individuals in overcoming self-sabotage and reclaiming their path to progress, I’ve come to realize that confidence isn't something we need to magically summon or artificially create. Rather, it's akin to a part of ourselves that we've simply lost connection with and need to rediscover.

This realization didn't fully hit me until I became a mother and observed life through a fresh lens. Watching my son courageously taking his first steps, it struck me - he embodies fearlessness. Despite falls, he would rise and try yet again, without a hint of doubt about his capabilities or worthiness to take another step, climb higher, or leap further. He just pursued it with unwavering belief in himself.

Witnessing this innate self-trust in children is truly remarkable, isn't it?

It led me to reflect on how, as adults, our sense of confidence – or the lack thereof – is often entwined in a complex web of past experiences, our interpretations of them, and the limiting beliefs formed as a result. Consider this: none of us come into this world feeling inadequate, unworthy of love, or lacking the intelligence to pursue our dreams and excel in them.

Yet, over the years, the doubts we learn to harbor against ourselves act as barriers to the natural flow of self-trust, which is essential for true confidence. This internal struggle between doubt and self-trust leads to self-sabotage, where we teeter on the edge of acting on our desires and pivoting when necessary.

Our estrangement from self-trust is what holds us back from fully engaging with life and chasing our dreams

However, here's a little insight: the key to unlocking greater confidence lies in identifying and addressing what inhibits our self-trust. Once you grasp that you are equipped to handle various outcomes and have the ability to adapt as required, a new world of possibilities opens up.

So, without getting too deep into the inner work (if this is your thing, let's dive in together here) here are some introspective questions that can help restore self-trust and take action that leads to greater confidence- the kind that you don't have to fake 😉 

1. How do I reassure myself that I can trust my judgment, even when things don't pan out as expected?

2.  What does my fear need to hear from me right now to believe that I can truly achieve my goal/intention?

3. What deeper meaning and personal fulfillment does this goal hold for me, and how will achieving it enhance my life?

Beginning to rebuild self-trust involves deep self-reflection and becomes more intuitive as you persistently strive for what's truly beneficial for you. Sometimes, it’s as straightforward as completing a daunting task and taking a moment to savor the sense of accomplishment, whereas at other times, it’s about really diving in and unraveling the limiting beliefs and self-protective coping strategies that reinforce the idea that you can't trust yourself.

Remember, this journey isn’t about fabricating confidence from scratch—it’s about rediscovering the self-trust that has always been part of you. Self-trust breeds self-confidence, and you can cultivate it, one opportunity at a time.

You've got this!

If this resonates with you and you are ready to take back control of your growth without wasting anymore time, click here to start.