The Hidden Battles: Understanding and Overcoming Self-Sabotage

Self-sabotage.

You may have heard of it.

But what is it?

You might've heard the term tossed around, usually paired with behaviors like procrastination or perfectionism. But I’ve come to learn that self-sabotage isn’t just about those actions; it’s much deeper. It’s about the tugs-of-war happening inside us, the ones that no one else sees.

You see, self-sabotage isn't necessarily a behavior in itself. It's more like the tip of an iceberg. Underneath, there's this whole mass of internal conflicts and incongruities that we're dealing with. This discord within can lead us to act in ways that don't align with our goals and aspirations—like procrastinating, people-pleasing, over-committing, or avoiding tasks.

I know the idea of digging into the why behind actions like these can be as daunting as cleaning out that one junk drawer everyone has in their kitchen. But believing me, understanding these dynamics is like finally getting rid of all those old take-out menus—you feel lighter, and things start to make more sense.

Self-sabotage stems from our beliefs about ourselves. And some of these beliefs? They aren't even ours. They're like hand-me-down clothes from someone else's closet—they don't always fit right. We carry them around, not realizing they're the reason our actions sometimes miss the mark from what we consciously want.

For me, tackling self-sabotage meant taking a hard look at why I was always garnishing my to-do list with a hefty sprinkle of procrastination. It turned out I was scared of failing, so I'd delay even beginning a task. It felt safer to not try than to risk not being perfect at it—and there it was, my own personal concoction of self-sabotage: a mix of perfectionism and avoidance, stirred with a dash of fear.

Breaking down these behaviors into their emotional components isn’t easy-peasy, but once you start to do it, you create space for change. It helps to remember that self-sabotage isn’t a fixed part of who you are. It's a habit formed from beliefs and fears—and habits, as daunting as they can seem, can be reshaped and replaced.

But how do we start? By being kind to ourselves—humility is our trusty sidekick here—realizing that we’re all human, and these struggles are part of the gig. We start small. Perhaps, instead of over-committing, we learn to say no and to value our time.

We can unpick these threads gently, without blame or shame. Because, at the end of the day, we are not our self-sabotage. We're complex, beautiful beings capable of growth and change. It might require persistence, patience, and a lot of self-compassion, but it's a journey that pays off.

 Listen, you're in good company! I teach proven systems that will help you gain freedom from self-sabotage by working to unravel your outdated and unhelpful beliefs at the root so that the only driver behind your actions are the self-assured ones! Join me for the next 8-week immersive journey through, Transform Me.

Until we get to work together, you might be interested in this resource: Unmasking Self-Sabotage: Redefining Your Inner Saboteur

Chat soon! ♥️